Introduce Yourself

No... that's your way of doing things

I plan to send a Very Large, and very powerful army at him

Little Brother, Harry! How did you get so big?

I could have sworn you were not that rotund when I died

Francis my lord, I suggest you strongly reconsider the words which you have uttered against the Holy Father.

And Henry, cousin, I believe you did not kill my aunt because she was my aunt?

*snaps fingers to one of the ever-present very large guards, who returns gingerly carrying a baby*
May I present to you my son Fernando?

And no, a marriage to two spouses at the same time goes against the teachings of Holy Mother Church, though I believe the Lutherans would allow such an abomination. Marie shall have to choose, one or the other.

Arthur! *Embraces you* So nice to see you! And this *rubs rotund belly* may be a bit more than you remember but is still a trifle.


*To Francis* I wuldst take Charles advice and stifle your idle threats.


*To Charles* Ah Fernado! What a fine straping young lad! You should be proud as I am sure you are!

*Pats Henry's belly* You always did like your food didn't you?

Now niceties out of the window

WHY DID YOU TREAT CATALINA LIKE YOU DID?!?!?!?!

*Looks at Charles and Henry and turns the charm on Maximum*. My Lord Uncles! Please forgive Francis *Leans in and whispers* he has Catherine de Medici for a mother, let us be sympathetic.

Marie... we do forgive Francis... me and Harry know how he feels, we had Margaret Beaufort for a grandmother, now, go answer my new topic plz

I had JUANA LA LOCA for a mother. His Grace of France needs to seriously evaluate his attitude towards the Holy Father, of whom I am the protector.

I guess we all had at least one difficult member... there are 2 in mine... my grandmother and my brother

I here abuela Isabel was quite the formidable lady. And I know grandfathers Fernando and Maximillian were tough as nails, but for crazy no one can hold a candle to my lady mother. With all respect, of course.

Yes, I expect so... My Brother was a difficult person, due to being an obese pig
and My Grandmother was a difficult person due to being a snob

Yes, dearest uncle, and was she not lovely and Regal for all of her faults? His mother cannot even claim ... sickness. She is just a foul evil hag.


And he is only a boy. You know how boys are saying things and boasting about deeds they cannot commit. *Narrowly eyes Arthur*. Please, I bessech you again, forgive him Uncle Charles.

Arthur you are kin but I must insist thou watch thineself ... you tread on thin ice.


I am King and my ways shall not be questioned

Marie, your concern is quite touching. I am sure that you, of course, have wasted not a moment even considering Francis's preposterous two-husbands suggestions. As for my forgiveness, as my cousin Henry is a King, so I am the Emperor and it must be earned.

Of course I have not my good uncle! And you *Smiles brilliantly at Henry* I see you trying to hide from your dearest niece! Please, give me a hug! *Braces myself*.

*embraces you warmly my belly making it somnewhat difficult*

How art thou my dearest niece?

*Uses all of my energy to inhale*. I am well *Leans in to whisper* Did you hear the Emperor speak of being the "Protector of the Holy Church"? When he sacked the Vatican and married his son to it's greatest enemy! Can you believe him?

*pinches your backside before releasing the embrace*

*coughs, then whispers* yes well .... his memory is sometimes self serving

*When you squeeze my backside, I cringe, but because you are so large it feels more like sensual squirming*.

Harry! Leave the woman alone! She is related to us! Do not forget, I cannot be sent to the scaffold, of exiled, as I was to be King before you! But then Father poisoned me because I was weaker than you... now look at you *gestures to Henry VIII's stomach*

Henry has been crowned and anointed. Despite our problems, I have chosen to remember our alliance and friendship of my youth, and therefore will stand by him. While your Grace is the older brother, the fact is you unfortunately predeceased the younger, which makes him King and you not. You do remain a prince and one of His Grace's closest relatives and I would encourage my cousin Henry to seek your counsel and grant you the respect and honor which you are due.

thank you...

Well spoken Charles, my friend, and I have tried to do just that. As all in assembly here can atest I have ben nothing but cordial and genuinly glad to see my older brother. He, however has done little more than insult me at every turn.

I shall grant him the respect that which he deserves when ever he is inclined to do me the same curtousy.

Very well... It is good to see you again, after our, almost 500 year absence... I do love you... but I'm worried you'll die like our grandfather, Edward IV did, a large, fat slob... I just want to see you safe and well