The Water Pageant

*to the queens*
I believe we are making record time, My Ladies!

Yes, we are my good Austrian Lord. Forgive me for asking, but are you a sailor, or is this just recreation for you?

*calls across the deck* Madame I have had the honor of being Captain General of the Sea and Commander of the Fleet of the Holy League at the battle of Lepanto! I love the sea!

*Marie cups her hand around her mouth and uses her pair of loud Scottish lungs to make herself heard*. YOU secured that massive victory against the Turkish menace? 'Tis wonderful! Have you ever sailed to Scotland?

Indeed I did, madame! And I have not had the pleasure of visiting your realm though I hear its people are delightfully warlike. Also, I am not actually Austrian, and have never been there- it is only my name, as my father is of the house of Austria.
I beg your pardon but,
OY YOU SMELLY BASTARDS DON'T YOU SLAG OFF NOW YOU BOOTLESS BOIL-BRAINED BARNACLES!

Oh, I see. Like Anne of Austria, who similarly never set foot in Austria, I am so sorry for my clumsy mistake. And *Snorts and rolls eyes*, yes, one could say the Scots are warlike, although it would be similar to stating that the Spanish are mildly religious or the French a little haughty.

Also, I have a ... matter which I wish to discuss with you.

*raises an eyebrow*
Do you, now?

*Rolls eyes*. No, it's nothing that will get you into trouble with Elizabeth. I do not know what you've heard of me, but I am not such a harlot as to attempt to seduce my cousin's betrothed.

Well, then- how may I be of assistance?