Birthday gift

Any suggestions?

Uhhh... Anne's *speaks louder so that Marie Stuart can hear* storm tossed maiden might do!

For little Edward? How about a set of wood jousting stuff?

Hmmm...maybe. I could get the armorers to make him a suit of armor!

That would be a fine idea indeed my lord. He ist most fond of military objects and is rare seen without his bejewelled dagger. I worry he wilt spend his time as King engaging in battle for he delights so much in the study of mine father's military campaigns. He doth also collect maps and globes with great enthusiasm, so perhaps an item newly drawn up with thine most recent territories would also delight him.

Other than that mine brother ist most difficult to delight with gifts having been so lavishly provided for all his life by mine father. He didst even have his own company of minstrals afore he had properly learned to dance.

Father, my lady, would the boy perhaps enjoy a quick jaunt in the Real?

*gasps* what wondrous idea my lord, I believe he wudst enjoy that greatly! So long as you do not mind indulging his whim to have thee command the ship in imaginary battle against whatever foe he doth conjure up?

If permitted I wudst also like to accompany him, and promise not to hang too far off the side of the ship in mine enjoyment of the sea breezes.

I understand of course if you two young gentleman would not see fit for a lady to be aboard ship... just this once.

Of course you may come, at the birthday boy's discretion, of course.
Do you think you could find some "Turks"?

I shalt have Masters Raleigh and Drake get together some of their silliest sailors and have them concoct some fine jest with fake blood and limb. Mayhaps we cudst also procure some broken bits of ship that canst also be thrown overboard. Both gentlemen are quite the showmen and should have little trouble with such fine jest.

...if not allowed upon the Real I may indeed have to sail mine own fanciful Pirate ship with mineself as Captain.

I shall strongly encourage the boy, then, to allow his sister to sail with us, provided she does not do anything which is "icky" and "girly."

Possibly a sensible conclusion my lord. I fear mine competitive spirit would make it hard for me to allow thee and mine brother to win the day even if twas his birthday.

I believe I hath yet to encounter a part of mine life in which I am thought "icky" or "girly". Weak female emotions are usually fought off with Princely anger and a thorough talking to by mine own self. Such things are unbecomming in a Queen.

...havign consulted my lords Raleigh and Drake, they hath suggested that cannonballs be substituted with some form of "waterbomb" which will explode a small quantity of harmless water on impact. Tis thought this wilt make the game all the more exciting.

This is a brilliant idea!
And, though I know you would never be either icky or girl, but a thoroughgoing prince and lady, your young brother may still be at an age where the company of ladies is not desirable. He shall be captain for the day and the captain of course gives permissions to those who would board his ship.

*Marie sends a box with a note on it that reads*

To my former suitor, and most unnatural brat, a collection of magazines featuring scantily clad portraits of Europe's most elligeible ladies. Look on page 97 to see yours truly!

Happy birthday young Edward!

When shall we set sail?

Perhaps you could get his majesty a diet kit... by the looks of his picture, he's becoming more like his father everday, and not just in looks, in weight, attitude and snobbiness, although Lillibeth tops that category

I wudst remind thee that tis full foolish to attract the displeasure of one Tudor, never mind two.

Elizabeth Tudor wrote:

I wudst remind thee that tis full foolish to attract the displeasure of one Tudor, never mind two.

Thinks *Hmm, the best way to annoy Elizabeth? OH! I know! Kill Robert Dudley!*

You are no match for Sweet Robyn. You forget he hath been trained in battle as soon ast he could walk and is also the stealthiest Dudley there ever was.

And why would you choose to annoy me? What ist your aim in this?

Elizabeth Tudor wrote:

You are no match for Sweet Robyn. You forget he hath been trained in battle as soon ast he could walk and is also the stealthiest Dudley there ever was.

And why would you choose to annoy me? What ist your aim in this?

I have no aim... I merely... despise... Mary and you, Lillibeth and Edward are the closest to her... if i can drive the two of you mad... maybe i can rid the world of your half-sister... you being born and removing her from the line of succession was the best thing to ever happen in this country

BTW... Robin has a ring in his back left pocket...

...could you also pass a message to your brother for me...

...Tell him the quails are in behind the 4th brick in the fireplace at Hampton, if he wants them

Ta

Lord James of York
Son of Henry VIII signing out

Aloha

...the ring ist no doubt the one I didst throw at him during our last argument.

Your plan ist most uncarefully thought out my lord. if thou art indeed the son of our father your mind can be applied more carefully.

...I am of course most fiercely against any plotting against my good sister. She ist the true heir and we are to obey the lines of succession as set out by our father, and the will of our Lord God.

*Whispers to Elizabeth* What is the problem with this young raving lunatic? I fear most grievously for my life!

I know not what his aim truly is my lady, or if he even hath an aim. However I can assure thee that thine safety is assured by my side.

Marie Stuart wrote:

*Whispers to Elizabeth* What is the problem with this young raving lunatic? I fear most grievously for my life!

Do not worry... while Lizzie is about I cannot hurt you... the spirits i can conjour however...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Elizabeth Tudor wrote:

I know not what his aim truly is my lady, or if he even hath an aim. However I can assure thee that thine safety is assured by my side.

Aim: Kill Mary Tudor

Safety: Assured with Lizzie... DAMN!!!