Mine newe house

I thynk I shal set up my royale hosehold hyre. Hatfield ith too fulle off ladyes who doth faff too muche for my lyking.

I liketh not the presence of Marie Stuart. Ist she Frenche now or Scots? Anyhow, I liketh not either.

If she doth not shut her head I shalle aske the Lorde Protector the beste waye of havyng her put to deathe, he is goode with suche things and doth enjoye them greatley.

AH! *Runs away terrified*.

*laughs so hearily it doth cause a fit of coughing*

I am mightey gladde I didst not hav to marrye yu Marie, thou wudste be a tiresome wenche verye faste and I wudste hav to choppe off yore hed.

I doth notte relye wishe to marrye anywon. Tho I likye the companye of Ladye Jane Greye, she ist a goodely playmate and moste merrie withe me.

Methinkes the Duc of Northombalande doth wisheth one oft his sones to marrye her. I do hope for myne syster Bess's sayke it ith not yong Robyne, she ist mightye sweete on hym I thynke.

*comes back* I would have made a great wife! I am beautiful, intelligent, pious and accomplished! You are just an unnatural little brat!

I wilte hav thou knoweste that I am soopernaturale and greatlye Kynglye!

And eye wudst rather eyte fartheres olde stokynges than marrye thee ewe scots wenche!

I mite aske the Lorde Protektore too fulfille my farther the Kyng's wishe thate yore kyngdomme of Scotlande by putt too fyre and sorde for yore falsehoode and disloyatee!

I tyre of arguing withe thee Marie. We nevere wishte too marrye anywaye.

Wudst thou liketh too see mine collexion off marbels? They are mightye fyne and doth make goode sporte if thou wisheste to playe a gaym?

Hello my son! I was just discussing you with my fellow Queens earlier this day!

Your mum,
Jane

Edward Tudor wrote:

I tyre of arguing withe thee Marie. We nevere wishte too marrye anywaye.

Wudst thou liketh too see mine collexion off marbels? They are mightye fyne and doth make goode sporte if thou wisheste to playe a gaym?

Listen little Ed anyone who hates the Queen of Scots cannot be too bad. You are a learned little fellow and of the new faith. Your mother and I were close but not exactly friends in life, yet I think I like thee little Ed!

Love,

"Aunt" Anne

Little Ed! This amuses me greatly!

Jane

Little Ed's spelling is so fantastical that I almost wonder if Anna of Cleves did not teach the little fellow his letters!

Okay dearest Edward. *Starts looking through marbles*, ooh I liketh this one! *picks up a pretty one* I'll give you 50 crowns for it!


And you Anne! Will you never stop your war of gossip?!

Edward Tudor wrote:

I tyre of arguing withe thee Marie. We nevere wishte too marrye anywaye.

Wudst thou liketh too see mine collexion off marbels? They are mightye fyne and doth make goode sporte if thou wisheste to playe a gaym?

I would kicketh thine but in a game of marbles! Bringeth it on!

I shall never end my war of gossip! Vivat Anna Regina! As you must know gossip is the coin of my realm.

Anne Boleyn wrote:

I shall never end my war of gossip! Vivat Anna Regina! As you must know gossip is the coin of my realm.

Oh, I thought it was the pound or farthing or some such nonsense. Half the things you say, your daughter doth not even believe, Madame Six-fingers!

What do I say that my daughter does not believe? What mindless prattle are you spouting now? Really woman you know that six fingers thing is just rubbish!

Anne Boleyn wrote:

What do I say that my daughter does not believe? What mindless prattle are you spouting now? Really woman you know that six fingers thing is just rubbish!

This may surprise you (I hope it giveth thou a heart attack), but your daughter told me herself that she doth not believe I killed Darnley.


And another thing that has long annoyed me about you, you believeth the most heinous rubbish about everyone else, but things about you that be true are disgusting and false! Hypocrite!

Well Madam I guess we agree to disagree. I do not believe that you killed Darnley with your bare hands but I do believe that you were possibly involved. I am no saint. I have a sharp tongue at times, I argue with everyone about anything and I am very vain. I did not commit adultery or incest however.

C'est tout!

Anne the Quene

You don't really believe in my guilt. You just said "possibly" involved. Instead of assuming my guilt if thou art uncertain, why not assume my innocence?

This is the 16th century! I was presumed guilty, apparently they ordered the executioner before my trial. All the kings subjects hath justice. *laughing bitterly & maniacally* Presumed innocence is a legal concept for the future Marie

Though I think thou easily strong or intelligent enough to murder the weakling Darnley, I too do not believe for a second you did the deed yourself.

However, tis great folly to allow the men of one's court to murder one's husband!

But enough of such matters, I wudst watch a game of marbles between you and dear Edward.

I'll bet you could charm him into gifting you the pretty marble if you tried dear cousin. Twould be another fine game indeed for you to try!

Elizabeth Tudor wrote:

Though I think thou easily strong or intelligent enough to murder the weakling Darnley, I too do not believe for a second you did the deed yourself.

However, tis great folly to allow the men of one's court to murder one's husband!

But enough of such matters, I wudst watch a game of marbles between you and dear Edward.

I'll bet you could charm him into gifting you the pretty marble if you tried dear cousin. Twould be another fine game indeed for you to try!

*whispers* Elizabeth, your mother beeth scaring the hell out of me, I think she left a dead rat on my bed! *stops whispering*

And I would love to charm dear Edward, only he has threatened to cut my head off *counts* 5 times so far, but I will gladly kicketh his butt in marbles!

Cher Marie:

That rat was alive when I left it in your bed! Perhaps it died of fright watching you disrobe! Hahahahahaha! Anne

Taketh that back!

Alright I taketh it back. I am incredibly juvenile sometimes for a 500 yr old headless Queen

Gosh, no wonder Henry killed thou. Thou hath the foulest mouth on Earth!