The Philip II of Spain Fantasy

Dear Sister, your husband is a rat, he doesn't treat you with the dignity and reverence you deserve.

He tried to chat me up the other day. I was scandalised.

I wudst wish to punch him in the nose, but as he is your husband I must ask your permission first.

What you think good lady?

Dear sister by all means Smack him on the nose. Or better yet I shall ban him to the Tower and you can torture him so.

What a wonderful idea sister!

Let us have him shoved in there next time he arrives on England's shores, and we can leave him there til we become tired of our entertainments and need a whole new game to play.

Consider it done.

Oh the fun we shall have!!

Ahh, now now Ladies. Remember, you are Queen's, you must set an example!

Oohhh....give him a smack or two for me, on behalf of all wives with indifferent husbands.

Listen Mary dear, just a word of advice from "Aunt" Anne. Never go for a man half your age and twice as pretty.

Oh, please dear cousins (Ysabeau et Marie) please, let me get in a whack or two. You know how we Frenchwomen feel about Spanish men. The most violent

Dear Cousin,

We shall galdy except you. Please come.

Queen Mary

Dearest Mary, I hope we shall be the best of friends!

Yes Marie the best fo friends we shall be.

Listen ... *Whispers* We should starteth a rebellion against Elizabeth. We both know that she is illegitimate and a usurper. If you acknowledge me as your heir, I will marry a Spaniard and venerate your Mother, The True Queen of England!

Whispers back, Now Marie if my sister heard you say such things it be torture for sure. I do like my sister and would never defy her for anything.

If you wouldn't defy her why would you have her imprisoned?

*Whispers back* Truly? Don't you desire to see the true faith live forever?

We would not kill her, only strip her of her rights. which she stole anyway.

Your dearest cousin

*Whispers to Marie Stuart* i would join rebellion, so i could get my revenge on Elizabeth and her mother.

-Katharine Of Aragon.

*Whispers to Katherine* Your role in this is to get your daughter involved, convince her to do this at all costs. Long live the true Faith.

Ladies, do not make me have to invade someone.

*curtsies deeply afore the Holy Roman Emperor*

My lord, tis a pleasure to meet thee. I do hope you are in one of your more leniant moods towards those of mine religion. I hath heard thou art a most kind Prince and wudst make some allowances towards Protestants in the name of peace.

I do believe thine mother ist somewhere at court, though I fear she ist... acting a little strange of late.

My mother is supposed to be in Toredesillas. I must find out who authorized her... departure from the palace and make sure it does not happen again. Perhaps send to her to the care of my daughter.

Two men cannot be made to agree on religion when two clocks cannot be made to show the same time.

Thou speakest wise words my lord which are most in line with my own thoughts upon the matter.

I believe she hath at present been visiting the Scottish court as Marie Stuart doth... indulge her a little. I regret to say your dear mother doth scare me exceedingly.

I see thou hath not decided upon portraiture to represent thineself. I recall a mighty fine depiction of your good self by Van Dyck. But then thou art celebrated also by the great master Titian. Great artists indeed.

Mother scares us as well. Yes, I should send her to my sister.

Artists line up to seek my patronage. If I took all of them into my service nothing would ever get accomplished.

Though I greatly admire the work of my own Master Hilliard I admit I find myself quite envious of thine fine collection of artists.

Charles V I wouldn't let you touch me with your ten foot imperialist pole! And your mother Juana la Loca is missing. I suggest we arrange a search party for her, I am quite concerned!

And I would not want to, Anne.

I know all about my mother. The Low Countries may not be far enough. Perhaps the New World. I hear the climate is lovely.