The Marriage Game

There ist my cousin the Duke of Norfolk, eldest son of the Earl of Surrey from the noble house of Howard.

He ist a great supporter of the Catholics, though I fear he has a habit of loosing wives, being three times married already. I have no evidence that he ist poisoning them or anything so I think you quite safe.

I hear he wast recently toying with the idea of marrying the Queen of Scots but of course that ist now quite out of the question

*growls*

...isn't it Marie?!

And also his younger brother Henry Howard who hath not yet married. I myself have been closely guiding his thorough education. I believe he intended at one point to take holy orders which didst vex me but I assume you - as Catholics - wudst be in favour of men who lean towards such things?

Oh yes Elizabeth *Smiles a beautiful smile*. After all, after imprisoning me illegally, and me escaping I should have to obey your will.

Makes total sense to me!

...I believe I wast meaning your legally binding current betrothal to my lord of Pembroke, or hast thou forgotten Nicholas already?!

Hm. Either Howard has intriguing possiblities, although you would have to ensure the younger receives appropriate lands and titles if he is to marry a Hapsburg. And asking about his willingness to be King of Denmark would not be out of line. As to the elder, Christina has been married twice herself, so in that they would be well matched.

I have informed Don Juan to be ready to sail for England at my command. He is readying his finest ship for the journey.

I'm sure Marie forgets Sir Nicholas every chance she gets. The way she treats him is quite capricious. I think he deserves better.

Next February when it is your birthday, I plan to give you a lovely wristwatch, and a watch ring, and a watch necklace like Sir Flav wears. You simply can't have too many timepieces!

Your Grace, have you portraits of either Howard lord?

What is this Sir Nicholas's background? I have numerous female relations as well.

Are you trying to find a nice Hapsburg boy for yourself?

*laughs heartily*

I do believe she doth indeed have her eye on a Hapsburg boy for herself my lord!

I shall search out portraits of the Howard men for your niece to view.

I have also remembered that the good Percy family do favour Catholics so I shalt see what I can do as regards them too. Tis most difficult for me to work out who are in favour of Catholics among my court but I shall keep thinkig upon it.

For some reason when I hath been asking around for such information everyone doth descend into hysteria and denial. Tis most strange indeed.

In the meantime, Marie, if thou desirest not thine betrothed Sir Nicholas I wouldst not have thou attempting to bump him off in order to escape the legal contract that hath been made betwist you both.

As he ist officially a subject of mine realm I wudst have thou return him unharmed to me immedietement! I find myself most fond of him and would consider it fair slur upon myself if thou went upon him with any harmful intent.

What is this I year, your grace Marie, of foul murder? If I am to treat with thee on the marriage of my granddaughter- your niece- to your son, I must be assured of her safety!

Tis nought but the murder of her second husband by her third my lord. I am assured that her third husband is currently out of the country, detained upon... past business.

However I do share in thine concerns for thine young granddaughter and would press upon you the need for appropriate arrangements ensure her safety.

*whispers to Charles*

my lord, though I do care for my cousin I would not trust her even with the safety of a cat employed to keep mice from her door! Alas mine loyal subject Nicholas didst profess a great admiration for Marie, so I saw fit to allow him hence to meet a fate of his own making. His circumstances do worry me greatly but tis out of my control.

Your majesty I eagerly await portraits of the good gentlemen.
Yours,
Christina, Dowager Duchess of Lorraine and Milan.

The elder brother Thomas Howard, Duke of Norfolk:


The younger brother Henry Howard


I canst also recommend...

Henry Percy, Earl of Northumberland


We call him the Wizard Earl for he doth dabble in alchemy. His hath great riches, a most impressive circle of friends, an eviable library and ist deeply intelligent. He ist Protestant but most sympathetic towards Catholics. His only drawbacks are that he ist slightly deaf (this ist sometimes good in a husband I am told) and hath a very mild speech impediment. However as I am sure you are now well aware his many assets by far outweigh such things. ...and he ist most pleasing upon the eye ist he not?

I shall leave it to my niece to decide which is the most handsome. As for me I prefer dukes to earls.

Have you given any consideration to las Canarias versus Naples? Dominica in the New World is also a possibility, but due to its great distance would make vacation inconvenient.

As your niece is an intelligent lady and used to the finer things in life the Wizard Earl would have more to offer her than our Dukes my lord.

Henry Wriothesley, 3rd Earl of Southampton


A fine gentleman brought up under the care of my dear William Cecil after his father died. He ist a patron of the arts and hath dreams of travelling the world and settling in the new world I believe.

Twould seem the majority of mine dukes, earls, lords etc are married which I do find most vexing indeed!

I do find my lord that I am leaning towards Naples but would rather have your son decide upon this as he ist the traveller of the match and better suited to the decision than I.

*blushes*
Oh my, your grace. They are all such fine-looking gentleman, but I confess to being intrigued by your Wizard Earl, Northumberland.

My dear Christina, as a lone Queen Regent I hath felt it my duty to keep mine court full to bursting with handsome gentlemen. Alas most are already married.

It would please me greatly to have you wedded to mine impressive Wizard Earl and I would think you most pleased with him in person. Any lady of good taste would be!

*smiles, pleased*
It seems Christina has made her choice.
So we have:
For you, Don Juan, soon to be King of the Canarias.
For Christina, Henry Percy Earl of Northumberland. "Duke of Northumberland" has a quite nice sound though, I must say.
*muses*
As does Queen Christina of Denmark and King Henry of Denmark. Would England support such a venture? It may be rewarded with lordship of Naples for yourself and Don Juan.

And Clara Eugenia, Infanta of Spain, my own granddaughter and Marie Queen of Scot's niece, for her son. Clara will of course be renouncing her rights to any of my domains.

...I can see where you're going with this my lord, and I think the fine Wizard Earl fair suited to take on the weight of an additional hereditary peerage. I shalt still wish to refer to him by his nickname when in his company though.

I also think him fair suited to Kingship so long as the subjects of Denmark would not object to his continuing quest for immortality via small chemical explosions. Perhaps I could have John Dee persuade him to lean more towards studies of the stars? They are far away enough he canst not try to blow them up.

Anyway, I could have no objection to such a fine subject as the Wizard Earl and such a fine lady as your niece becomming friendly fellow Princes.

*whispers*
I think your decisions re Clara most wise my lord. I promise to have Walsigham keep close eye upon her with her good care in mind.

If it didst happen - heaven forbid - that my union with your son didst not produce male heir, would you be in agreement with mine wish to have the young James of Scotland's line declared heir to mine throne?

Your grace has never been to Denmark. It is a cold place with many barren stretches well suited to explosive experimentation.

As far as Marie's son...I have not met the young man. Or boy. I have met my granddaughter, though, and have great faith in her future abilities.

I am sure a daughter of yours and Don Juan's would be a quite capable ruler. Particularly if she found a reliable husband.

I follow young James with close attention. He ist a most promising young boy and would be all the more promising were thine bloodline influencing him I think.

The Wizard Earl would be most pleased to be able to continue his experiments. I already know the secret to immortaility myself but wudst not spoil his happy experiments by giving him the answer. Every husband should have a suitable passetime to take part in, alone in hist royal shed at the bottom of great palace gardens, think ye not? It gets the gossiping Queens from beneath his feet for a while.

As for your great words upon any daughter of myself and your fine son, I am most honoured to hear you say that my lord. I am full sure any daughter of mine would prosper well upon her wits alone, but would wish her the support of a good husband of course.

I am sorry to have missed the match-making goodness. If anyone couldst suggest some sort of nice male companion for me (no marriage or serious relationships, please), I would appreciate it.

I enjoy playing cards, drinking ale, shopping, managing my houses, hosting nice parties, and corgis. Languages: German and English.