Let's all wish Elizabeth a very happy birthday!

*a little hand sneaks around the door frame followed soon after by the face of Prince Edward*

Yst the Bullen wenche gone? She fayre scares me halfe to deathe!

*he sees she ist gone and walks into court, now with less an air of meekness and more with the air of a Prince, chest stuck out and hands on hips*

Old Beetleface Seemoore, The Protectorres wyfe, I canst deale wyth. I set Bess or mine Oncle Tom uponne herre! The eyville horse leeche!

But Bullen ist fair fearsome indeed. Methynkes my father didst send herr too the Towere juste to silence herre fearsome mouthe and wylde eysse.

*he considers for a moment*

Still she ist fayre betterr than thyse wyyke women who sobbe sew.

I carnt abyde weeping womenne!

"Beetleface," eh good son?
Have you your ship? I would like to see how it would terrorize the turk!

I hath manye morre naymes for her my lorde. I lyke herr notte! She doth limitt myne pockette moneyes severe and treates me lyke a childe! I am the Kynge and mine fathers sonne! How dare she, the woodlousse! She frequente whippes myne paige that Oncle Tom gave me forre Chrystmasse whenne she thynkes me naughtye.

She ist no matche for myne sister Bess and she dothe whyne so about her when Bess ist awaye. The woodlouse fair thynkes herselfe the Queene!

I wudste have a Queene who ist stronge and canne fyte for me lyke mine sister Bess dothe do. ...ist it possible to tayme one suche as the Bullen my lorde?

It ist myne wishe that myne shippe be fulle fierce and terroryse the seas my lorde. I wudst destroye all enemy nations.

How art the Turks uponne the seas? Canst I beat themme? Know thee welle of war at sea? It sounds mightye fyne gayme indeed!

*chuckles*
The Turks can be a terror upon my coasts, but my good son Don Juan has put the fear of Christ into them! He shall be arriving soon, do you know? He is to court your sister.

As for a wife, it has been my experience that if a prince is well match 'tis not necessary to tame anyone. I have a goodly daughter about your age, in fact. Have you met my wife, the lady Empress?

No matter how poorly the Protector's wife treats you, you must recollect always that she is a noblewoman and as such worthy of respect- as well as being your elder.

We arre moste pleased to heer our goode syster ist too wedde! She alwayse didst lyke the admiralty and wilt have him kill more Turks for us!

Hurrah!

*leans up as far as he can to whisper to the Emperor*

Bess ist a fayre handfulle. If she ist trubblesomme for thyne sonne, send hym to me for advyce. She ist fierce and stronge willed but knows her place and hath sensible mynde. She wilt do as I aske mostlye... or persuades me to better ideas.

As forre olde Beetleface, I lyke herre not, how she doth sweep rounde the Palace like tis her ownne. I wilt treate herr welle but wilte notte do as she saye. A woman shudst notte commade a Kyng! Specially notte one so sour and beneathe me.

I have notte met thyne ladye, ist she fair and kyndly? And hath she good mynde?

...doth your daughterr lyke to play marbles? I hathe a fyne set. Marie Stuart didst beat me and wonne one of myne best tho. I wudst haff a wyffe who cudst playe marbles with me.

*bends down, leaning on his cane*
*seriously*
Thank you for your kind offer, but I am sure Don Juan- my son- and Bess will along just fine. And I am sure he will appreciate the opportunity to kill more Turks.

You need not obey Lady Seymour, but you do need to treat her with respect, as your elder and the wife of him who does protect your realm. I have been an archduke, king, or emperor for my entire life, and it is important to treat all people with respect.

I am sure my wife would most like to make your acquaintance, my lord. She is around this Court, but I see her not. She is the kindest, wisest, most beautiful woman in the world, and my most beloved wife.

*smiling*
Why, I do believe both my daughters do. As do mine own nieces. They enjoy playing together.

*a broad smile crosses his face*

Thenne I wudde gift themme some fyne marbles my lorde. I shalt select somme of the prettye kynde that girls dothe lyke and bring them to you on the morrow.

*realises that he was meant to be hiding and glances around*

I must go now my lorde before Beetlface dothe fynde me. Don't telle her I wast heare... or bettere stylle juste avoid herre altogetherre!

*he scampers off then turns at the door*

I lyke you greatlye, you arre lyke myne Oncle Tom.

*runs off to hide from his guardian the Protector's wife*

What a delightful child!
Ah, they make me feel young again.

It is a shame our own children are no where to be seen Charles. I miss them greatly!

Ah indeed! I would love to see Felipe and the girls. But I am sure you will enjoy the good Prince's company.

*Cannot decide whether I am more terrified of Edward or disgusted by Henry*.

Marie of Scots! Tis it truly you? *Henry bellows coming into the room*


*He appraoches her looking at her from head to toe and back again* Still beautiful as ever
*he announces loudly as he pinches her back side.*


I hear from my daughter you are about to ensnare husband number four? She told me nothing of this man, who is he that will be the King of Scots instead of I? *Henry Demands*

Ah Henry. 'Tis good to see you again. Your son is quite charming.

*Anne contemplates sneaking up behind Henry and clouting him with a candleabra. Reconsiders and sets it on table* Hello husband. I regret my outburst of the other day. Your sudden appearance the other day quite unhinged me. It is good to see you are well. Why hath you joined us here at this forum. And does Satan know you have left the netherworld?

Likewise Charles, likewise. And I thank thee for thine compliments towards my son, he is the apple of my eye as the saying goes.


Anne, Anne *shakes head, his rotund belly shaking with laughter* Such a whitty one you are. Of course your apologee is excepted my dear. Must I have a reason or purpures in joining everyone here? It seems my wives and kin hath gathered in one place, shuld I not be amoung them? Besides, with the exception of good Charles I hath heard there is a shortage of men here *lips part in a grin*

There is that sniveling, Nicholas of course but he hardly counts *sticks up nose in disgust* always whineing that one is *mutters under his breath* shuld have took his head along time ago

My lord, I should also mention my matchmaking endevours have not limited themselves to your daughter. My good brother, Archduke Ferdinand, is traveling to England to meet the Lady Anne.

And my granddaughter is to marry Marie of Scot's son.

I believe that Sir Nicholas brother Sir Richard is at court. And I must tell you that of the men we have here, you are far from the most attractive. Sir Nicholas is so kind and attentive and such a graceful & sensual dancing partner that it makes me quite forget that I was ever enamored of you! In fact I am sure every lady at court has a little corner of heart (or more) reserved for Sir Nicholas.

Every one except I, my lady Anne.

Of course not you, but even though you have been happily married for over 1000 years, you must admit Sir Nicholas has a rather fey charm?

I must say I do not remember coming in to contact with him often. Just once I think, and it was very brief.

*When Henry pinches my backside I turn around and look at him. In my high heels, I am eye-to-eye with him*.

The man who will be the next King of Scotland, and God Willing King of England is Sir Nicholas of Rhodes who is 10 times the man you are.

And yes, it is me, you tube of lard. Did Satan tell you to go back to Hell soon, or will you be tormenting us for long?

*roars with laughter*

You hath not changed, still foul mouthed and hot tempered as ever! Tis a joy to see you again and see you looking SO well.

Please tell me you art not YET made the mistake of this foolish union?

*Suddenly does a mood switch and becomes naughty vixen Marie, Henry's favorite*.

*In a sultry tone* Not yet. As of now I am a single woman, I may be blown wherever the wind takes me. And I be happy thee liketh what thou seest. Dost thou think me the forum's lovliest lady?

*grabs Henry's jaw and swivels his head towards her* Look at me for a change!